You Teck's Blog

Do you live by “Social Expectations”?

Posted by You Teck - 20/06/08 at 02:06:16 pm

I’ve always believed that our childhood period is the time where we are most innocent and free. It’s the period where we have great dreams and goals we want to fulfill. It’s the time where we don’t give a hoot to what other people think.

Isn’t funny that all this “freedom of thoughts” and dreams come to pass as we grow older? From the time where you’ll say I can be a “bla bla bla” to “it’s never going to happen”. Suddenly, it doesn’t really matter what you really want because you realize that it’s perfectly comfortable to agree with social expectations.

So, when did all this social expectation ideology come creeping into our lives? For me, I believed it all started when we began our primary education. It’s the time where adults will start comparing us with the other kids in the class. Comparison will range from behavior, results and even ambitions. Suddenly it’s not ok to be yourself anymore because you have to start pleasing the people who matters to you.

It’s really sad when this shift of mindset occurs because of the lost of real talent. Imagine a kid’s dream is to become the bravest fireman within his city but because of social expectation that he should follow his dad footstep on becoming the next CEO of their company, he has to forsake his true intentions.

Once the coating of social expectation becomes very thick a false sense of identity will devour us and a lot of actions or conversations created by us will have a fake aura around it. The most condemning thing about social expectations is that it makes us response to other people’s reaction rather than portray our own views at all times.

Take the simple example of a group discussion, have you ever encountered a situation where you had a different opinion from the rest of your group members but for some reason you decided it was better to follow the crowd instead? Well, that’s social expectation working at its best.

Another solid example of social expectation can be displayed through our career or education choices. Most of the time our heart will tell us to go for the choice we really want but because of comments such as “Oh come on, are you sure?” or “Haha, I can’t imagine seeing you do that”, we tend to back out on our earlier decision.

Other factor where social conditioning comes into action is in our romance life. One clear example of it is the real decision on when we should settle down and start a family. There seems to be this invisible rule where you got to somehow settle down by the age of 28-30 or people around you will start ringing the alarm bells. Thus, it doesn’t become your decision of wanting to get married at that age but it’s the social expectation decision.

For me, I don’t care about the expectation of others and whatever decision I choose to make, I make it because I want it to be that way. What I want to conclude here is that if you’ve always be living your life according to other people’s expectation, maybe it’s about time to ask yourself what you really want because I firmly believe that’s where your real freedom lies.

I believe this 2 Es can “Change The World”

Posted by You Teck - 19/06/08 at 05:06:54 pm

If you’ve already made a guess on what the 2 Es are, I can assure you that “Excuses” is not one of them. I would love to share with you the perils of excuses but that would be a story for another day. So, what then are the 2 “Es” that can change the world?

Well, they are “Education” and “Entrepreneurship”. Education is highly important because it gives us the knowledge to advance, to better express ourselves and ideas, and to understand the workings of our daily life. One critical aspect of education is that it gives the learner the ability to read and write.

An individual must command a certain level of literacy if he wants to improve his standard of life. Through reading, he is introduced to a very different sort of world where his imagination is free to roam. It is also through reading that he will be able to learn many new skills which he might not have encounter during the course of his life.

Imagine the excitement and curiosity a child can generate when he gain access to an intriguing book that explains the wonder of the world. He will feel that the world has so much to offer and learn despite of whatever current situation he is in.

Getting the right early education also ensures that an individual learns the right moral values on how he should treat fellow humans or any life form of that matter. When you look at some of the unrest that are happening across the globe, they are often caused by individuals who have received the wrong kind of mindset and teaching when they were young.

If there is ever one thing that is of most importance to eliminating poverty across the world, it’s definitely education.

I’m a big believer in entrepreneurship because through entrepreneurs we are able to enjoy the many new innovations and services that make our lives better that it was yesterday. More importantly, these business built by the entrepreneurs serves as the driving force of their country’s economy.

I’m sure it’s pretty much self-explanatory when we look at the effects of the 2 Es in developed country. The shift from agriculture to industrial and from industrial to information has been lead by the likes of Henry Ford, Vinod Khosla, Sir Richard Branson, and more recently Larry and Sergey.

While foreign investments are highly important, the presence of many small and big local businesses provides a much needed balance to raise the competitive levels which will in turn provide the people with more opportunities.

Entrepreneurship shouldn’t be viewed solely in the business aspects because I believe that entrepreneurship is the power of action in its rawest form. Through a series of different action acted out by the individual, he or she will gain an additional experience in leadership, resourcefulness and many other life skills. All this experiences will definitely come in useful when they serve their local community or managing their own lives.

I’m firmly believed that the key to a better future lies in the 2 Es and this is what I’m truly passionate about.

What is “No Choice”?

Posted by You Teck - 27/05/08 at 09:05:55 pm

Although it has always been said that we are master of our destiny, it’s definitely not surprising for us to come across people who often say “No Choice”. So, what is no choice? Does it mean that you’ve lost all your choices even when you’re threaten at gun point?

As far as I can tell, the answer is a big no! That’s right, even when you’re threatened at gun point, you still have two choices. Either you don’t agree or agree to the threats of the aggressor. In this sort of situation, we would normally agree to the threats simply because it’s a better choice.

What is most infuriating to me is the majority of the people who have many obvious choices available to them choose to think of no choice instead. Take the example of one man (close to 40) whom I happen to chat up with in a networking session recently. He works as a senior position in one of the big firms.

For about 50% of our short conversation, he mentioned that he haven’t being able to attend networking sessions for quite some time. As I have an extremely high curiosity level, I decided to probe further and ask why. Here’s his reply, “Well, too much work on the plate and I can’t even clear them if I work on the weekends.”

Upon receiving his reply, I asked my favorite question of all time. “Well, surely you have a choice to change all this right, don’t you?” To keep things simple, his reply to my question was in the following sequence, rising cost of living and inflation, got to earn a living and he ended with “what to do?”

What a big walking target for retrenchment! In 10 short minutes, my conclusion of this man is boring and he’s definitely going to stagnate for years to come unless he shifts his paradigms of thinking dramatically.

In the spirit of comparison, I shall site the example of another man whom I’ve met in the same networking session. A brief summary of this man is that he holds several businesses and the two most prominent ones are in manga training and web development.

At the point of our conversation, he was actually involved in a new set of business that deals with high power supplements. I was particularly Intrigued because of the diversity of his interests and I asked what’s the factor that made him want to go into the wellness industry. His reply was short and sweet, “It’s a great product and it doesn’t take a lot to test it out in the market.”

An average man will only think about no choice while a great man will always create a choice for himself whatever the circumstances. Once you understand and acknowledge the laws of cause and effects, you will be able to accept the fact that where you are now is a choice made by you several years back and where you want to be in 5 years time is the very choice you choose to take this moment.

Even in your darkest hours, you must always you believe that you still have a choice and that choice is to make your way slowly and steadily back into the light. No choice is just a very lazy man’s way of pushing off all their responsibilities. Start eliminating the words “No Choice” from your life today and I’m quite sure that your life can only progress for the better.

Are You A Passionate Learner?

Posted by You Teck - 21/05/08 at 09:05:53 pm

Men from the day they are born are meant to learn till the day they die. However, for many people, that does not always seem to be the case. Most of them normally choose to stop the process of learning once their education ends.

The perils of stagnation don’t usually strike early and they will only strike you when you least expected it. I’m sure retrenchment is a taboo word to many but would it be a major concern if you’ve been a learner for life? The point I want to stress here is not that you would be immune to retrenchment if you were a life learner but rather it would have little effects on your confident because you know that you can always adapt to a new environment with ease if you had been a lifelong learner.

When you’re constantly exposing yourself to new materials and knowledge, it’s almost as close as to stepping out of your comfort zone. What might seem foreign to you in the beginning will certainly become more comforting as you continue to familiarize yourself with it.

The process of foreign to familiar can not only prove to be an exhilarating experience but also a useful experience should you choose to change your working environment in the future.

Life learning can occur in many different forms and the most interesting topic will most likely be that of foreign language and culture. An important aspect of life learning is to let your curiosity lead the way instead of restricting yourself to certain fields

Finally, too old or too young should never deter you from your quest to being a lifelong learner. The following dazzling talk presented by Mr Ben Dunlap which tells the story of Sandor Teszler, a Hungarian Holocaust survivor who taught him about passionate living and lifelong learning will certainly inspire you.

 

The video is fetched from one of my favorite conference and video channel, Tedtalk.

The Magic of Deadlines

Posted by You Teck - 20/05/08 at 08:05:02 pm

Have you ever wondered about how you will always automagickally (just like scaffold) get things done just before a vacation? It’s an easy answer isn’t it? That’s because you’ve got a flight to catch the next morning and you had to get everything done before you can leave with a peace of mind.

Take another example of a library book. Do you find that you’re more likely to finish a library book than the one that you’ve bought? For me, that’s certainly the case because if there was a deadline attached to it and I don’t finish it, it would have defeat the purpose of borrowing it in the first place!

Now, think about this, "wouldn’t we be a lot more efficient if we set a deadline on the tasks that we plan to complete?". Think about the business project you plan to start or the room you’ve wanted to clean for a very long time.

The whole paradigm of not having enough time to complete the task will change because once it has a deadline attached to it, there can be no excuses and not matter what, you would have to find a way to get it done. Of course, you can always choose not to honor the deadline but wouldn’t it put your personal integrity into question if you choose to do so?

So, here’s a short summary on what was discussed above:

1. Find the one task that you’ve been putting off.
2. Set a deadline on when you want to complete that task.
3. Leave no room for excuses and starting completing it!

Personally, I’ve find that setting deadline is an extremely useful technique on getting my things done. Ordinary tasks that would normally seem boring would suddenly become exciting when I set a particularly challenging deadline to it. If you doubt my words, experience the technique yourself and you’ll definitely not regret it.

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